Right now I am feeling jaded and cynical about everything. At 46, I have very little to show for my life and the writing is probably the one bright spot in a dark time. I have hoped and worked towards things all my life with an effort that far exceeds the results and that has given me pause. Why expend the energy when I don’t know how to expend it properly?Why believe things will change when the driver of this life is the same person?And why hope for things to just happen when they just don’t?(unless they are bad things of course.. 😛 )

I am being unfashionably negative I know but I am utterly sick of trying to be positive, of putting a spin on things. To start where you are, which is, as Pema Chodron wisely suggests, the only place you can start, you have to know where you are. I know where I am.

I am standing on the shore, as I have been for many years now. I would like to take flight but feel unable and that’s just where I am. Maybe my own words will become a wind under my wings. Who knows?

But I reserve my disbelief in wishes and luck and all that palaver for myself. To all those who have taken the time to read my blog posts (and some of those took time), to all those who have commented, to those who have been so supportive, to those who I have met both in the cyber world and in the real world, to those who write too, to those who have reached out, to those who struggle, to those who have taken me sailing,  given me tea and conversation, advice, things to think about and reasons to maybe think about hoping, to all my new friends, I do wish for all of you that 2013 is the best year so far and I also wish that my wishes have the power of …of…of…a million elephants!

Thank you. You make a difference.





  1. Love this post, feel a lot of the same things. Hoping/Planning to make changes this year that will halt some of those feelings, we shall see. Not being a *happy clappy* sort of person I find it really refreshing to read other’s real truth, not the artificial saccharine sweet nonsense that is all the rage! Happy Blog Birthday 🙂


    • Thanks Mistress Prudence, thank god there’s more like me out there. I was in two minds about writing this because I thought everyone one would go “Oh stop being so negative!” to which I would have to reply “NO!” 😀 Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. means a lot.


  2. There is such a huge difference between “being negative” and speaking your own truth and so many times over the last year you have been a brave and honest writer Westy…..looking forward to what the next year brings. Harness up a few of the million elephants there will ya, dare to dream a bit more in 2013 and basically let’s just keep putting one foot in front of the other…..X


    • Thanks again Foxy Catherine, you have been a major source of support and inspiration this year. Great to see your face on Foxglovelane too. Very glad to have met you and to start getting to know you:) Now to go and lasso some elephants, I may be some time, I guess I better pack a trunk….unghh 😀


  3. Thank you for saving me! I have just emerged from what has to be the prize-winning filthiest utility room which I am attempting to de-clutter’ ~all when I want to be on the shore ~ and here I find you writing about ‘reality.’ However, it’s a reality that certainly gives me hope and best of all you have brought a smile to my ‘unclean’ face. Best of luck for 2013. You’re about as far from being ‘an old hag’ as the ‘divil’ himself.
    Love from Tramore xxx


    • …and Jean, you in turn have brought a smile to my face. Thanks for that!And thanks for taking the time to read and to comment too. I have read and enjoyed a few of your posts, you are writing at a level other bloggers aren’t. it is very unique. Look forward to more!Best of luck for 2012 too and also with the utility room 🙂


      • Maybe I should organise a local bloggers party which will give you all insights and inspiration ~ the utility room remains 10% cleared. By that I mean I can see the floor. You’d be absolutely amazed at what you could find here ~ old records, appropriately enough, The Moody Blues ….. ; stuff for a seaweed bath; ganzies that I thought I had lost; essays from school days; zillions of socks waiting for a partner ….. You’ve set me up for a great blog post or two or three AND a party as well as making me smile even more! Keep on chugging and see you on the shore at Garrarus one of these days. I’m the one who swims at sunrise or sunset! Have a great and productive weekend ~.whatever that means!


      • Party would be good!A car boot sale would be good too from the sound of it 🙂 You’re a swimmer too, I’ll see you on the beach at some point. Have resolved(long before the New Year natch) to get back to year round swimming but have only done one a month since October and still haven’t done my January one.Looking forward to those blog posts.


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