Mojo. When you have your mojo, you have your rhythm, you are in step with life and everything seems to be in the right place. My mojo is a rare and shy creature, an animal that has made few enough appearances in my life. I have not seen hide nor hair of it for much of the summer, much of the year in truth. It’s not been a bad summer but a summer that has kept me feeling unbalanced and disrupted with family visits and trips away, which, though often very enjoyable, has left me prey to others schedules.
The day job is causing problems too and I am spending a lot more time dreading it than I am actually doing it. Unusual for me.
It would not have been so bad if my basic avenues of coping hadn’t been shut off. Running has been denied to me by a mysteriously aching hip-which is also making me cranky-and the sea has often been unnavigable because of either stormy weather or hordes of surfers so when I headed to Kilfarrasy this morning for a dip I was not expecting much.
The sky had clouded over and the wind was rising. The beach was deserted except for a man I knew ambling among the rocks with his dog. I waved as I headed into the frothy grey-green waves. The tide was on the way in but the waves were breaking as if over a sudden dip and so I contented myself with a spot of body surfing.
I stayed in for 15 or 20 minutes, revelling in the energy of the tide, the bursts of spray on far rocks, Burkes Island hovering between sea and sky as the gulls circled and dipped. By the time I came out, happily shivering, the scribbled beach was empty of people. A couple of ravens lazily rode the eddies of wind along the cliffs, diving with rolled wings to land among the piles of rotting seaweed.
I dressed quickly and headed back to the car sipping my tea. I could feel the sea deep inside as I drove home sandy footed so when I headed upstairs disrobing as I went to dive into a hot shower I wasn’t so surprised to catch a glimpse of my mojo in the same way you would catch a glimpse of a person disappearing around a corner. I did not try to chase it. I am learning as I get older, but I smiled. I’ve missed my mojo.